FLCL
by Kagome The Tiger
Summary: This story is filled with crossovers, humor, pointless conversations and TWISTER!
1. BRITTLE BULLET OF DOOM

Disclaimer: I'm disclaiming,   
  
Episode 5 begins with Naota and Kitsurubami in an airgun battle against Amarao and Haruko, Amarao challenged Naota to a battle over Haruko because after being turned down (smacked through a wall) by Haruko he saw Naota kissing Haruko. Not one to have his pride smashed up by a little boy (regardless of Naota's desire NOT to kiss Haruko, and the only reason said kiss took place was because of his new horn)...so he challenges him to a fight. I am not sure how the rules of this game work out, but I would guess its like paintball...only Naota and Haruko seem to shoot each other a little too much, but hey its anime.Anyways Amarao knocks Kitsurubami into the river and she's kinda dead in a bloody drowned kinda way.Naota is helpless so Amarao & Haruko kick his ass.Mamimi sees the whole thing and asks him if he likes Haruko.Later Naota comes home and hangs out with Amarao & Haruko,  
  
Amarao:(whispering to naota) is her food edible?  
  
Naota:it won't kill you  
  
Amarao:okay then(eats haruko's unedible barf)...........K.O..................................................................dead  
  
kitsurubami returns from the bathroom with cuts and scrapes all over her body.  
  
Kitsurubami: what's up with him?  
  
Kitsurubami stares at Amarao who's foaming at the mouth  
  
Kitsurubami:eww!  
  
Haruko:WHOOPS!  
  
Kitsurubami: WHOOPS! YOU JUST KILLED AMARAO!!!!!!!!! WILL YOU SAYING WHOOPS BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE?!?!  
  
Haruko:WHOOPS!  
  
Kitsurubami: oh great! now he's a corpse........YOU TURNED AMARAO INTO A CORPSE!!!!!  
  
Haruko:WHOOPS!  
  
Amarao gets up and walks away still looking like a corpse and then comes back in human form  
  
Kitsurubami:how'd you do that?  
  
Amarao:the magical power of water?  
  
Haruko & Naota: whatever  
  
Amarao & Naota head to the bakery to help a customer  
  
Amarao (cheerfully): I am careless with money !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Naota (cheerfully): so am I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Customer: RIGHT! how do I get from point A to point B ? and why do you have fake eyebrows ?  
  
Amarao: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU CAN TELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Naota: go to hell  
  
Customer: gladly  
  
Amarao runs out of the room to deal with the cruelness of society,Naota follows him  
  
Amarao: where's the boy with my latte? (sadly) he's not coming back is he?   
  
Kitsurubami: COMMANDER!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Amarao: WUZZATT?  
  
Kitsurubami: WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!!!  
  
Amarao: what's her problem ?  
  
Naota: mood swings, it happens to every girl.  
  
Haruko: hey kiddies it's bedtime  
  
ALL:SINCE WHEN DO YOU ACT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko: why not act like this?  
  
ALL: IT'S ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Person in the void #1:this is great reality t.v. , they go to pieces over nothing!!!!!!!!  
  
Person in the void #2: yes, I agree   
  
(EVIL LAUGHTER)  
  
Haruko: FINALLY IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!  
  
Hana: HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko: WELL, YOUR STORY WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hana: IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU'D THINK DIFFERENT, IT TOOK ME ALONG TIME TO WRITE THIS STORY BECAUSE I DIDN'T SAVE IT AND I LOST IT!!!!!!!!!! SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko: TOUCHING, NEXT ON FLCL EPISODE 2 THE RETURN OF KAMON!!!!!   
  
Hana: HEY I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko: TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hana: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Amarao: read and review please   
  
Kitsurubami: and no flamers or else you die! 


	2. THE RETURN OF KAMON

  
  
and Kitsurubami has Amarao in a headlock and WHAT'S THIS? AMARAO HAS RIPPED KITSURUBAMI'S TOP OFF AND HER BOOBS ARE GYNORMOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer:I'm chiquita banana and I'm here to say,I will eat this toblerone and I will not pay.  
  
Kamon: HARUKO SAAN!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko: MON CHAN!!!!!!!!  
  
Amarao: I finally got my latte!  
  
Kitsurubami: good for you now bend over  
  
Amarao: yes master  
  
Kitsurubami litterally shoves her foot up Amarao's ass as Amarao fly's out the door.  
  
Kitsurubami: that was fun!  
  
LATER............  
  
Kitsurubami: hey, has anyone seen Amarao?  
  
Haruko: he's in the kitchen, he hung himself after the ice cream man cut up his credit card.  
  
Kamon,Naota,and Kitsurubami look at Amarao who's grinning and waving while hanging from the cieling.  
  
Kitsurubami {once again}:eww!  
  
Finally the cieling lets out and Amarao is crushed to death by a huge pile of paster and family hierlooms from the attic.  
  
Kitsurubami: FINALLY! I was getting tired of the bastard!  
  
Haruko: I have to admit that was good, you killed off your first character, but for the next chapter let's focus on me and call it a day in the life of Haruhara Haruko!  
  
Hana: NEVER!!!  
  
Haruko: then suffer the wrath of the pirate king  
  
Hana: next on FLCL Amarao's revenge.  
  
Haruko: DUDE, AMARAO'S LIKE DEAD!  
  
Hana: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. AMARAO'S REVENGE

Disclaimer:IT'S TRUE,IT'S ALL TRUE! I DON'T OWN FLCL!!!!!  
  
Haruko: aww shut up!  
  
Here we find haruko asleep in the freezer why she's in there? I don't know.....maybe it's because she's a psyco or maybe it's because of the firestorm last night OH WELL!  
  
Kitsurubami:Ice! I need ice!  
  
Kitsurubami opens the freezer  
  
Kitsurubami:AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HARUKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko:AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko/Kitsurubami:AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kamon:AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Naota:AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Amarao:SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Amarao:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko:i-it l-lives!  
  
Kitsurubami:SHARP POKE WITH STICK!  
  
Amarao:[clutches arm in pain]:OW!  
  
Kitsurubami:yep he's alive  
  
Shigkuni:no joke when it's broke don't be blue,let shigkuni's quick repair service fix it and you won't sue!  
  
Shigkuni starts hitting amarao over the head with a wrench.  
  
Amarao:OW,OW,OW OW,OW!  
  
Kitsurubami:whips out pepper spray  
  
Shigkuni:MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko:now that that's over.......  
  
Amarao:MMMMMM.....NAOTA NUMMY!  
  
Naota:GET HIM OFF ME!  
  
Haruko: no can do compodre,it"s too cute!  
  
Naota:YOUR A GROWN MAN! STOP LICKING MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko:kinda sad if you ask me  
  
Hana:whaa?!  
  
Amarao:MMMMM....HANA NUMMY!  
  
Hana:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Haruko:for crying out loud!  
  
Hana:[quickly]:next on fooly cooly:delusional pyro!  
  
Kitsurubami:emergency exits are located here,here,here,here,here,here,here,here,here, and here please fasten your seabelts,there is no smoking allowed,and there are no flamres allowed either, tank you for choosing fooly cooly airlines and have a safe trip! 


	4. DELUSIONAL PYRO

SHORT STORY BEFOREHAND....  
  
[at a nearby gas station]  
  
Father: Which type of gas should I use today?  
  
Sister: Unleaded gas!  
  
Wife: Super premium unleaded gas!  
  
Son: No daddy give it da ESTROGEN!  
  
Family: laughs  
  
Father: why me laugh?  
  
Disclaimer: O.o  
  
Naota: HE'S STILL LICKING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Amarao: MMMM...NAOTA STILL NUMMY!  
  
Kitsurubami: Why in the heck?  
  
Hana: Oooooooooooooo!  
  
Haruko: IF HANA SAYS Oooooooooooooo! AT 11:10 IN THE MORNING AND IS TRAVELING AT 65 M.P.H. AND IS CARRYING 250 TONS OF FIREWORKS THAN HOW MANY GALLONS OF HARUKO DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO DENVER?  
  
Naota: Studying for the SAT's?  
  
Haruko: Nope, i'm helping sameji here study  
  
Naota: Y-you mean mamimi?  
  
Haruko: yep!  
  
Mamimi: Hiii!  
  
Kamon: Oooooooooooooo! girls  
  
Hana: eww!  
  
Kitsurubami: Hey hana, I could use a hand here!  
  
Hana: Do not adjust your set!  
  
Kitsurubami: whaa?!  
  
Hana:[holding shovel in one hand and mountain dew in the other]: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WE'RE ABOUT TO MAKE CONTACT!  
  
Hana hits Amarao over the head with the shovel  
  
Amarao: Where am I ?  
  
Hana: The majical world of Oz!  
  
Amarao: Yay!  
  
Hana: No really  
  
Amarao: Let's get outta here  
  
Hana: ditto  
  
Hana: me go on vacation for a while  
  
Amarao: me come too  
  
Kitsurubami: RR please  
  
Haruko: no flamers 


	5. THE VACATION FROM HELL

Disclaimer: Witness me in bee form!  
  
ON A SECLUDED TOXIC WASTE DUMP 100 YARDS AWAY FROM 3 MILE ISLAND...  
  
Amarao: WHERE IN THE HELL ARE WE!?!?!?!?  
  
Hana: Umm...not sure  
  
Amarao: So now what do we do?  
  
Hana: I'll call for backup  
  
Amarao: Just what does hat mean, I ask you  
  
Writer: Nope Amarao would never say that  
  
Pizza guy: Delivery for a Koshi Rikdo  
  
Writer: thaaats meee!  
  
Pizza guy: Here are your five large pizzas  
  
Koshi Rikdo: Thank'ya  
  
Pizza guy: And the bill  
  
Koshy Rikdo: Okay so...OMYGAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$350.00  
  
Koshi Rikdo: What is the meaning of this bill!?!?  
  
Pizza guy: Umm...well..[scratches head]..Massive cheese shortage sir  
  
Koshi Rikdo: Okay then......[grabs pizzas,slams and locks door]  
  
Pizza guy: Again?!  
  
A CONTINUATION OF WHERE WE WERE...  
  
Hana: [rips out cell phone]: We need a skatepark, a skateboard rack, ramps, rails, and some mountain dew.  
  
Amarao: Why?  
  
Hana: You'll see  
  
Amarao [sarcastically]: I can't wait  
  
SOME EXCRUCIATING WORK LATER...  
  
Hana: yahoo!!!!  
  
Amarao: So what exactly is mountain dew?  
  
Hana: Sweet  
  
Amarao: I love sweet   
  
Hana: Good  
  
Amarao [takes gulp...starts walking like a drunkard]  
  
Hana [yells]: wait until the caffene kicks in!  
  
BACK AT THE BAKERY...  
  
Kitsurubami, Haruko and Mamimi are sitting at the kitchen table  
  
Haruko: I'm bored  
  
Kitsurubami: me too  
  
Mamimi: Wanna play twister?  
  
Haruko/Kitsurubami: sure!  
  
Kamon [pops head in]: Did somebody say twister?  
  
Haruko/Mamimi: No  
  
Kitsurubami: Ye..[haruko elbows kitsurubami in the ribs]..no  
  
Kamon: Oh okay.  
  
girlish laughter  
  
Mamimi: Left hand yellow..Right foot green..Left foot blue..Right hand red  
  
AFTER 5-10 GAMES OF TWISTER...  
  
All: ugh  
  
Hana: the caffene kicked in  
  
Amarao [talking so fast no one can understand a word he's saying]  
  
Crobdan: WHERE'S THE GUEST STAR GET A SAY IN THIS CHEAP ASS STORY?  
  
Everyone: "..."  
  
O.o  
  
Crobdan: FINE! BE THAT WAY!......I'll be in my trailer.  
  
Hana: Next on FLCL: SO RANDOM 


	6. SO RANDOM

Disclaimer: Has anyone seen the anime neon genesis evangelion? if you have and want to comment on it e-mail me  
  
This chapter uses Neon Genisis Evangelion and FLCL characters...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
AT THE BAKERY  
  
Naota: ugh...where was I?  
  
Haruko: you were in mianus!  
  
Naota: I was in your what?  
  
Haruko: The town in California.  
  
Naota: oh AMERICA!  
  
Haruko: now hurry up or you'll be late for school.  
  
Usagi-mun: no I don't like this part, take it out!  
  
Asuka: hey! since when do YOU have a say in MY story!  
  
Usagi-mun: b-but my m-millenium p-puzzle sa....cut off  
  
Asuka: who cares about your millenium puzzle!  
  
Usagi-mun: yea whatever it was only 69 cents anyway.  
  
Asuka: now see how good it feels to work out our problems?  
  
Usagi-mun: hey you're not a liscensed therapist!  
  
Asuka: bye!  
  
Usagi-mun: mmkay now bring me the dim witted one!  
  
Random failures: yes your majesty!  
  
And out comes none other than jessica simpson.  
  
Usagi-mun: you are not fit to belong in my kingdom.  
  
Jessica: you mean I have to take more diet pills?  
  
Usagi-mun: no you dolt you don't belong here.  
  
Jessica: dolt?  
  
Usagi-mun: are you related to president bush in any way?  
  
Jessica: president? related? too many big words!!!!!!!!!  
  
Usagi-mun: okay let us try this...........unicorns for Jessica.  
  
Jessica: nuh-uh.  
  
Usagi-mun: unicorns for Jessica  
  
Jessica: really?  
  
Jessica goes to two giant doors and opens them.  
  
A stampede of unicorns bolts out of the doors and crushes jessica to bits.  
  
Usagi-mun: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
AT SCHOOL  
  
Gaku: did you hear? seven new transfer students from tokyo are here!  
  
Masashi: yea and a some pyramid thingy popped up right next to the medical mechanica plant!  
  
Naota: like I give a shit.  
  
Eri: Naota get your sorry ass back here!  
  
Naota: gotta go!  
  
Eri runs after him.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL  
  
Naota is still running from Eri they're both running towards naota's house until naota smacks into a man in his sixties...they both fall to the ground.  
  
Naota:mrdudei'mreaaaaaaaalsorryaboutwhatjusthappenedbutireallyhavetogobecausethisinsanepsycowomanisaftermewithabaseballbatandidon'twanttogethitintheheadagainimeanit'salreadybeenseventeentimestodaysoOHSHITHERESHECOMES!!!  
  
naota runs away  
  
Fuyutsuki: thank you!  
  
Asuka: yes this chapter was random.  
  
Asuka: I'd like to give a shout out to Usagi-mun because we couldn't have done it without you!  
  
Fuyutsuki: Anyways we will reveal ourselves in the next episode  
  
Asuka: and more fanservice! now get out of here you old fart  
  
Fuyutsuki: I'm a higher power.  
  
next chapter the organization called NERV. 


	7. NERV

Disclaimer: FLCL belongs to GAINAX and Kazuya Tsurumaki...I on the other hand **(keyword there: I) **own a bus pass, but not an an anime series

AT THE NANDABA HOUSEHOLD...

Naota: I'M HOME!

Asuka: Hallo!

Naota: w-who are you? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!

Asuka: i'm Asuka! Asuka Langley Soryu! and i live here now, SO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!

Naota: WHAAAT!

Asuka: you heard me!

Naota takes his boxes and leaves

DOWNTOWN...

Misato: so, they've moved us to this town out in the sticks

Hyuga: apparently

Misato: i miss Tokyo-3

Hyuga: me too

Misato and Hyuga kiss

AT NAOTA'S SCHOOL...

Gaku: those tokyo kids are coming today

Naota: i know, i'm living with one

Masasshi: is she cute

Naota: i guess so

Gaku: what do you mean i guess so?

Naota: I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS!

Eri: NAOTA!

Naota: whoops

Miyajun: class! we have seven students who come from tokyo-3!

Boy: I'm Toji Suzuhara

Girl: I'm Hikari Horaki

Boy: I'm Shinji Ikari

Girl: I'm Asuka Langley Soryu

Naota: see, that's her

Gaku: She's on FIRE!

Masasshi: she's CUTE

Gaku: ON FIRE!

Masasshi: CUTE!

Gaku: ON FIRE!

Masasshi: CUTE!

Naota: SHUT UP!

Both: geez

Boy: I'm Kensuke Aida

Girl: and I'm Rei Ayanami

Miyajun: be seated

NEXT CHAPTER: ANGELS IN MABASE


	8. ANGELS IN MABASE

Disclaimer: i'm still alive! yay! gets shot in head

Miss Spooky Muffin: okay then, on with the story

THE INTERSTELLAR IMMAGRATIONS PLACE THINGY.

Kitsurubami looks out the randomly placed window

Kitsurubami: looks like we have new nieghbors

Amarao: i'll go bake some cookies

Kitsurubami: okay

60 MINUTES LATER...

Amarao rings doorbell

Gendo Ikari answers

Gendo: yes? can we help you?

Kitsurubami: hi, we're from across the street and we brought pie

Gendo: those are cookies

Miss Spooky Muffin: uhh...

Gendo: care to explain this hana?

MSM: smokes cigarette YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I'M UNKNOWABLE!

Gendo: well...?

MSM: look gendo, it's 4AM and i have insomnia, give it a break

Gendo: it can have it's break but i want my pie

MSM: here's your fucking pie asswhipe! pies gendo

MSM: bye runs back to massachussetts

ON WITH DA STORY...

Naota: DAAAAD! THERE'S A WEIRD GERMAN GIRL IN MY ROOM!

Kamon: IS SHE A VIRGIN?

Naota: OO

Asuka: ANTA BAKA!

Misato: Asuka be nice!

Asuka: but-

Misato: THAT'S AN ORDER!

Kamon: me likey

Shinji: another day another asprin

Naota: hi

Shinji: hello

Naota: I'm Naota

Shinji: I'm Shinji

MSM: ookaye then coughs faggots

Kaworu: where? i wanna get me sum ass

MSM: heyy!

NEXT DOOR...

Makoto: no more angels?

Maya: excactly

Aoba: finally

Maya: so we live together?

Makoto: i guess so

MSM bursts through the door

MSM: hiya roommates!

All: she's like asuka 2.0!

All: AHHHHH!

Rei: AHHH!

Fuyutsuki: AHHHHHHHH!

MSM: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Crobdan: hi

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

NEXT CHAPTER: THE EVANGELIONS


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